THE FIELD GUIDE: The Lonely Years

LEGENDARY DAD: Dick Hoyt (Team Hoyt)

THE TOOLBOX: Don’t Choke!

THE TRENCHES: You’re 80 Years Old

RAD DAD OF THE WEEK: Kurt B. — Syracuse, NY

Daaad. You’re Embarassing Meee.

Why shouldn’t you eat more than 239 beans? 😏

One more and you’d be 2farty 🥁🥁💥 

In 1977, a 37-year-old father named Dick Hoyt received an unusual request from his teenage son, Rick.

Rick, who had cerebral palsy and couldn't walk or speak, wanted to participate in a five-mile charity race benefiting a local athlete who had become paralyzed.

There was just one problem.

Dick wasn't a runner.

But that didn't stop him.

He pushed Rick's wheelchair the entire five miles. They finished next to last, but what happened afterward would change both of their lives.

Rick told his father that when they were running, he didn't feel handicapped.

And just like that, Team Hoyt was born.

Over the next four decades, Dick pushed, pulled, and carried his son through more than 1,000 endurance events, including 32 Boston Marathons and multiple Ironman triathlons.

During triathlons, Dick pulled Rick in a boat while swimming, carried him on a specially adapted bicycle, and pushed him in a racing wheelchair.

They even crossed the United States together, covering 3,735 miles in just 45 days.

All because a father wanted his son to experience something extraordinary.

Dick Hoyt passed away in 2021, leaving behind a legacy that had little to do with finishing times or medals.

THE TAKEAWAY: You don't have to be the strongest, fastest, or most accomplished man in the world to be a legendary dad.

Sometimes, all it takes is showing up, refusing to quit, and making the impossible feel possible for your kids.

LEGEND STATUS: EARNED.

Learn more about their remarkable story at Team Hoyt.

Random Weekly Topic — No Holds Barred

The lonely years of fatherhood, and why making friends during these years feels damn near impossible.

Remember when hanging out with your buddies required absolutely zero planning?

A phone call. A six-pack. Someone's garage. Done.

Then came the careers. The marriages. The mortgages. The kids.

Suddenly, the guys you used to see three times a week became guys you see three times a year.

Welcome to the lonely years of fatherhood.

It's a strange phase of life. You're surrounded by people who need you, yet somehow feel more disconnected than ever.

Your child-free friends are still planning spontaneous weekends and late nights. Meanwhile, you're negotiating bedtime, daycare drop-offs, and whether you can sneak away for two hours without throwing the household into chaos.

Nobody's doing anything wrong. You're just living in different worlds.

And making new friends? That's a whole different challenge. At 22, friendships happened naturally. At 42, you practically need to submit an application.

SO HOW DO YOU BREAK THE CYCLE?

Here's the thing: Your kids need a dad who has a life outside of being Dad. Someone with friendships, interests, stories, and a sense of belonging.

And so do you.

The lonely years don't have to stay lonely. Sometimes all it takes is being the first guy to say, "Hey man, you wanna hang out?"

Essential Skills For Every Dad

Imagine you're sitting at the dinner table when your child suddenly stops talking, grabs their throat, and struggles to breathe.

Would you know what to do?

Choking can turn an ordinary family dinner into a life-threatening emergency in seconds. And when someone you love can't breathe, the last thing you want is to realize you have no idea how to help.

Fortunately, the American Red Cross provides instructional resources demonstrating how to respond to choking emergencies in adults, children, and infants.

WATCH & LEARN: AMERICAN RED CROSS

Take a few minutes to familiarize yourself with these lifesaving techniques. The procedures differ depending on the person's age, so don't skip the infant resources if you have little ones at home.

DAD BONUS: WHAT ABOUT LIFEVAC?

You may have heard of LifeVac, a suction-based device designed to help remove an object obstructing someone's airway. It has received FDA authorization as a second-line choking rescue device for adults and children ages 1 and older, but it is not a replacement for established first-aid techniques and is not authorized for infants under 1.

Read the FDA's guidance on anti-choking devices.

YOUR MISSION: Watch the Red Cross resources, share them with your spouse or another caregiver, and consider signing up for a hands-on CPR and first-aid certification course.

Because when someone you love can't breathe you’ll wish you took a couple of minutes out of your day to prevent a lifetime of anguish.

⚠️ SAFETY DISCLAIMER: This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice or replace certified first-aid training. Choking is a medical emergency. Call 911 immediately for a severe choking emergency and follow emergency dispatchers' instructions. Do not delay emergency care to watch instructional videos or retrieve a device. For proper techniques and age-specific guidance, consult the American Red Cross or American Heart Association and seek hands-on training from a qualified instructor.

R2 Community Member Submissions

This week, I sold a few of our old baby items on Facebook Marketplace—a stroller, a play mat, and a baby seat. One of the couples who came to pick something up was expecting their first child, and we struck up a great conversation.

Naturally, as any dad would, I offered some unsolicited advice. Pack your hospital bags early. Bring your own pillow, toiletries, and plenty of snacks. And don't forget the Roku so you can watch Netflix.

But before they left, I shared the single greatest piece of parenting advice I've ever received. Something that's stuck with me ever since.

When you're in the thick of it—running on three hours of sleep, your nerves are shot, the house is a disaster, someone's crying (possibly you), and you're about two seconds away from losing your mind…

Imagine you're 80 years old.

Your children are grown. They've moved out, built lives of their own, and no longer need you the way they once did.

The house that used to echo with laughter, crying, little footsteps, and absolute chaos is now clean, quiet, and perfectly in order.

No toys scattered across the floor. No tiny hands reaching up to be held. No one calling your name from the other room for the hundredth time today.

Just silence.

And in that moment, you'd give anything to come back to the very moment you're struggling through right now.

To hear that little voice one more time. To pick them up and hold them while they're still small enough to fit in your arms. To have one more ordinary, exhausting, beautifully chaotic moment together.

You'd give anything to be right back here in this. exact .moment.

It's hard to fully appreciate this perspective until you're living it, but it's served my wife and I well many times over.

Parenthood is an incredible gift, but that doesn't mean it isn't exhausting. There are moments when the frustration, stress, and sheer weight of responsibility can make it difficult to see the magic happening right in front of you.

When one of us is having one of those moments, the other will sometimes offer a simple reminder:

“Imagine you're 80 years old…”

And suddenly, the chaos looks a little different.

Because one day, these will be the good old days.

And we're living them right now.

- Wes B. (Saratoga Springs, NY)

*Successes, challenges, “you’re not gonna believe this” stories, or photos that say it all — If you have something you’d like to share with the R2 community, email us at [email protected] - we’d love to hear from you!

From Last Week’s R2 Side Quest

THE TWO WHEEL REVIVAL — RIDE A BIKE

MISSION: COMPLETE

From Kurt: “Hey man, I gotta be honest with you. I thought “ride a bike? lame.” But in reality I hadn’t ridden my bike in I can’t remember how long so I thought what the hell. I wasn’t feeling very motivated and almost decided to say forget it, but I’m glad I just got on and went. At first, I was only planning on going around a block or two, but once I got riding I ended up cruising for probably an hour. It’s such a simple thing but I legitimately felt like a kid again. It’s amazing how such a simple pleasure can be overlooked for so long. I really didn’t want to stop but I had to get home to cook dinner. It ended up being way more fun than I expected. I have an e-bike but I had to pedal to conserve the battery since it wasn’t fully charged which ended up being a good thing. It felt good to get the blood flowing a little bit. It was actually awesome man! Looking forward to the next side quest.”

—Kurt

*Enter your photo/ story submissions to [email protected] for a chance to be featured in next week’s RNDM2SDY Newsletter!

Real Dads, Real Adventures

Each week, dads from the R2 community are getting out there and making it happen!

Check out the R2 SIDE QUEST GALLERY to see how other dads are making the most of their RNDM2SDYs!

( 🚧 👷‍♂️Under Construction — Gathering Evidence… 🛠️ 🚧 )

The Road Less Traveled

TAKE A HIKE.

When's the last time you went somewhere just for the hell of it? No errands to run. No destination you have to reach. Just a little curiosity and a willingness to see what's out there.

There's a whole world beyond your daily commute. And chances are, some of the best adventures are hiding right in your own backyard.

YOUR MISSION: Find a trail, park, backroad, or natural landmark you've never explored before. Lace up your boots, grab your keys, and GO!

Take the detour. Explore the unfamiliar. You don't have to travel far to find adventure—you just have to break the routine.

GET AFTER IT, DAD!

▶️ PLAY NOW! ▶️

GOT AN ADVENTURE WORTH SHARING? Don't keep it to yourself, Dad!

Share your adventures on social media, tag @RNDM2SDY, and use #RNDM2SDY.

Better yet, send your photos and stories to [email protected] for a chance to be featured in next week's RNDM2SDY newsletter!

“…It is a shame to grow old through sheer carelessness before seeing what manner of man you may become by developing your bodily strength and beauty to their highest limit.”

— SOCRATES (c. 470–399 BC) (paraphrased)